Lifes bollucks

Hi

I know I’ve said I promised to stop complaining about life but its like a house of cards it takes a whole lot of patience, practice and persistence but can be destroyed within a millisecond with no warning or without an explanation.

I’ve come to realise life is a sadistic mash up of bollucks taped together with a fusion of the opposite ends of the tape scale duck tape and masking tape. It is then squished inside a mason jar (which we don’t have here if I’m correct in this dreadful country that I have to live in for a number of more years). It is then blended with a hand blender still in the jar the ball of balls is then compressed down into a layer of flesh at the bottom of the jar in which someone farts in and then fastens the lid and then finally tossed into outer space where it explodes due to lack of atmospheric pressure.

I’m pretty sure I’m not depressed but just frustratingly annoyed and angry about absolutely nothing and everything all in one tiny thought stuck in the back of my mind which is mixed with a song so ironically wrong that it could piss off the most sane, straight minded, focused person who ever lived or will live in the near and distant future; a song so devastatingly stupid I will not mention any of the lyrics or the name (mainly because I don’t actually know the name but still you get the picture). And all this makes me even more angry because when I think or remember one or the other it reminds me of the one not stated before this.

Apart from my suspected mental break down, which my brother predicted yesterday when I said I was having such a great day, my life is going pretty well in general: I’m settling into my new house, the internet is working now, I’ve finished all my tests that I know of, all lost data I wanted and/or needed had been re covered, my dad is getting married which is great because he is so much happier now, I’ve got so many more excuses to get drunk at the wedding at the reception the house warming partyx2 the welcome home party end of year party book burning party camping etc., but as I am writing this I’m realising that the very…very old saying you are not complete if your on your own (or something about saying you need to be with someone) is completely true and I am seeing it more and more.

I’m loosing my confidence and no one is going to find out at school because as always I’ll keep my feelings to my self and on the inside I will metaphorically ripe my face off and tear it in half and half and half and half and half until I have a fist full of face confetti (quote from big bang theory duh!!) which will end up me being in a downward spiral until I lash out and punch something and tear shit apart thread by thread physically and mentally.

And if that wasn’t enough I still can’t stop swearing FFUUCCKK!!

Bye

Thanks for reading, I’m not going to ask for comments because I hate it when people do that and I don’t want to be a hypocrite more than I already am.

5K mud run

I thought that while I try to conqueror my fear of heights I should get fit (or at least healthy) as well. I’m training to do a 5 kilometre mud run which is basically a 5 km run through a muddy assault course.

On other news i’m realising life is bollucks.

I’ve got about 7 fucking tests none of which actually account for anything apart from if you don’t do well they could drop you down a set(which I can’t let happen because I want to do a medical degree) and they call your parents and send letters home and i’m not getting grounded again I mean fuck that last time was bad. I had planned to go cinema with a couple of friends and had been for a few weeks because it kept being postponed that I could have missed and wouldn’t care too much but I had also been planning to meet an old friend I hadn’t seen for literally 2 years at least and that kept being postponed because he is always busy and we had been planning this for months. I was grounded for 6 bloody weeks (I was 13?? I think)I hadn’t really done that much really my parents just over reacted loads all I did was go out with a few friends nicked a couple of beers and a bottle of rum from a few of our parents, got totally trollied and then came home an hour and a bit late but I was helping my friend get back home because he was too drunk to walk in a straight line and was throwing up everywhere(he almost got ran over like 5 times and fell into a lake it was hilarious and back to my description it did help me work my way up the social food chain by like 10 places and no I didn’t actually base it on a scale but I went up a lot and then fell back down but that’s another story).

I would really like to hear your stories of getting drunk, how old you feel people should be to drink, stories about being grounded etc. anything really that relates to this(it doesn’t have to relate to this i’m pretty bored at the moment so would love to hear any of your stories or rants or anything really…I have said anything really too much now haven’t I)

Plus I haven’t made any progress with my fear of heights yet so techniques to help would be greatly appreciated.

Bye