Everyone should do legal?!

Hi

I have decided that everyone thinking about doing drugs should do legal highs because it will scare the shit out of them for the rest of their life so they will never think about doing it seriously again.

The other week I stupidly went into town bought some legal high got someone to roll a joint for me went to an abandoned farm and smoked it with some friends. This is where it all started. I didn’t feel much so was fine with it I felt like when your a bit buzzed after a few drinks but it wore off after like 10 minuets. A few weeks later some friends and I went bike riding in some forest (the guys I thought were going were my smoking buddies; turns out only one of them turned up and my other friend who wont even have a drink if you tortured him). So I decided that lets not let my stash go to waste I’ll roll a quick joint and we’ll be on our way.

When we got to the woods we cycled round a few times. And then I wiped out my joint and said we should light it up (so we did…obviously). The first few seconds were ok but then I could feel it kicking in it was great…for like half a second then shit started slowing down and everything looked like an old 3d movie and my heart was pounding so hard it was more of a tingly numbness instead of a beat. This paired with everything else going slower made it a whole lot worse. I started freaking out at this point which is when I started asking anyone that was there to feel my heart beat and reassure me it was my imagination. It wasn’t, and it started freaking other people out which freaked me out even more. 

This was kind of amplified with a sense of doom coming from seemingly everywhere but turned out to be my mind. I was told if you stay calm everything will be really great and you’ll start to enjoy it…this was a lie. I stayed calm but my heart was still racing, I still kept thinking people were hiding in the trees and could not help thinking it was a dream which made it better at first until I convinced myself that it wasn’t; I would then proceed to forget this think it was a dream and then realise it wasn’t over and over again several times. An hour passed and still I couldn’t move let alone stand up it was like when you have stayed up for days on end and you mentally and physically can’t move but you force yourself to so you can get to bed and sleep properly for the next year; but with all my might and concentration I couldn’t even wiggle my toes or fingers. I asked my friends how long it had been but they varied from 5-40 minuets which turned out were all a lie at it was more like triple what ever they said.

If you don’t think this sounds bad it’s because you have not experienced it and I strongly suggest you do not and just take my word for it that it is the worst feeling you have ever had in your life and will be until you die (I assume I’m not dead yet). To change my first point don’t do legal if you’re thinking about doing drugs just get drunk legally and you should be fine until the liver failure kicks in.

In conclusion I’m glad I did it as now I have a story to scare my kids from trying whatever chemicals they are cooking up in labs to get people high. I think I would have changed my mind if my parents had had this experience before me because all they told me was that my Mum had tried weed and liked it but it is not good for you so don’t and my Dad has done nothing because he is uptight and hasn’t bent any rules ever so you should do the same because he has obviously turned out so well  like his killer attributes: being a control freak, prioritising some of his children over others (even some he does not have any claim to other than partially legally, over the ones he helped create which I have no idea how he did considering how he acts around everything including the thought of people having sex) and him generally being a douchebag to his oldest son ever since he has moved into a house with his new wife (who is now starting to piss me off with all the rules and shit she wants me to go by…seriously the laws of every country combined would be easier to follow without discomfort than this shit).

On a happier but still crappy note I’ve decided I’m gonna push my Dad and step Mum as far as possible and see how they react I’ve started to leave condoms around my room as this will piss him off as he doesn’t like the idea of me having sex, preparing for it or watching porn (condoms are great for wanking; sorry to be so crude but clean up is so much easier with one of those on your nob). I think I’m gonna get him to notice them so much so that he confronts me about them then I will start hiding them get him really start thinking I’m having sex or doing a hell of alot of stroking the salami. I suspect that he doesn’t like gay people being the strict, literal thinking, Christian he is (not all strict, literal thinking, Christians are against gay people and yes I’m Christian but I’m very liberal which also annoys my Dad and step Mum) so I’m gonna come out after the first round of mind fucking and trickery is complete (no I’m not actually gay, will tell the rest of my family it’s not true and don’t want to offend anyone by doing this but as you can probably tell he has pissed me right off and today was the last straw so I’m just trying to push all the right buttons to get him to snap).

I don’t know what I’ll do next but I will be sure to update you as time goes on.

Bye, 

Thanks for reading and sticking with me (sorry about the crap editing today I’m pretty busy with fucking tests today…well this week…to be honest the past few months)!