Misstakes

Hi

I realise now that you should always get to know someone flirt a bit then ask them out rather than what I did- which was just ask someone who was in my friend group but we didn’t really talk much apart from when there was like ten of us there. I did however beat the system it may be harder to get things started this way but I believe that this method bypasses most chances of getting stuck in the friend zone.

By clearly showing your intent from the start verbally rather than beating around the bush and have the chance of it being misread; you can straight away get into things with no awkward “are you going out”, “you should ask her out”, “do you like her” etc. because everyone who inevitably finds out (in my situation I told a friend who told his girlfriend who told everybody, but this didn’t matter because my other friends sister was there and saw us plus a few people from school saw us as well somehow without me realising until they brought it up when we all got bored in English- which is alot of the time since we’ve finished the exams but they don’t want to have a whole half year to have a free period at the same time so they give us fill in lessons of more English despite not needing it) will already know most of those answers and can guess the rest.

Unfortunately this didn’t give us time to get to know each other and leaves alot of awkward gaps which thanks to my overworking Amygdala leads to anxiety over what I should be doing/ not doing. Most people I can read pretty well but this girl somehow defies my ability of people reading. I’m not sure if it’s just because I’m nervous or because she has an excellent poker face- that gives me an idea poker sorry you’d have to be inside and outside my brain to get it but basically I feel alot more comfortable around friends so a drunken poker game gives me a perfect opportunity for something pretty irrelevant but not entirely that story is for another time though. Things are on the up for me which I’m quite pleased about especially since how low I had gotten I’m not sure if I mentioned it before but self harm which I didn’t find it helped at all apart from venting my anger but this blog helped alot more for that and for minor depression than anything else I’ve heard of or tried- sorry for the terrible sentence structure there. I’m feeling happy which is a great feeling to feel after along while of occasional good days but mostly ending up on a downward spiral into anger and hatred. 

Also on a good note my Dad is becoming suspicious and attempting to get information about my social/sex life from my mother. The funny thing is he thinks hes found something here after months of me planting things in his brain and he doesn’t think I know that he’s worked anything out. But on a down side my Mum found out about this girl because my brother is a dirty grass. I told him accidentally so then to get me back for pissing him off after he was being a dick he told her. Fortunately she hasn’t told my Dad anything that she shouldn’t have as I have now managed to harness everybody’s full potential in my family to help me annoy my Dad. They are all pawns in my mind game. My Dad hasn’t yet found out anything that I have not wanted him to unless my Mum has turned against me and he is just messing with me to get me back but that doesn’t seem very likely. 

Sorry but my computer is set to a weird setting and I can’t switch it back so I can’t edit this blog post so to explain the first paragraph I made it someone random this is not the case. It just happened to be she was in my friend group and I liked her and thought there was a chance she liked me even if it was just enough to see how things go. She is beautiful and funny and not afraid to do random things like join in singing a song from the best unknown band there is (they’re not that unknown as they are pretty famous across the globe but no-one seems to know them- tenacious D-the song was kickapoo by the way) that was a good day everyone in the entire building could hear us singing there was like 5 or 6 of us doing it at the top of our voices. I know most people sing alot but not at the top of their voices surrounded by judgemental phallus jockeys, well most of them aren’t phallus jockeys I just really wanted to call someone that… no offence was intended. Back from the singing tangent she’s a really nice human being and I hope to get to know her better (not like that you dirty bastards I meant mentally not physically I’m not gonna say I don’t but that’s not the point I’m trying to come off as sweet and thoughtful here).

Bye thanks for reading

Sorry again for the bad editing I can’t change anything without it deleting the next few words as well.